People Are Important: Continuing the Conversation About Racism and Inter-Racial Relations

I am not an expert.  Who is?  I am not the authority but I would like to continue the conversation.  However I can suggest the following two guidelines in any sort of reasonable discussion is to be undertaken between parties regarding race, ethnicity, tensions, problems, etc.

1.  Do not generalize

Global topics regarding race and ethnicity are particularly difficult because nobody likes to be generalized.  My wife and I have a rule we've stuck to in order to keep our relationship in tact.  "You always..." and "You never..." are always never true and therefore do not begin to consider saying any statement with either of those phrases.  "You never wash the dishes," and "You always interrupt me" are prime examples.  The same applies to every person in the universe.  Living in downtown Baltimore I have lovely white, black and other-race neighbors.  Some of my neighbors want to know me and some don't.  Some are responsible hard-working folks and some aren't.  Some are nice and friendly and some aren't.  The rule we've noticed is there is no racial pattern.  I guess jerks and saints will be found in every neighborhood nationwide (oops, that's a generalisation).  We all need love (and forgiveness for making generalisations).

Some of our African-American coworkers and friends are offended by the term "African-American" and some are offended by the term "black."  We all love patterns and truths that apply to everyone everywhere but when it comes to something as personal as your heritage and ethnicity there can be no generalisations.

2.  Do not conclude

Especially for you old timers and type A personalities, I just lost you as a reader probably forever.  However, as soon as you conclude anything about anyone regarding race, someone in the conversation will school you with their own personal experiences, someone they knew did something, something happened two weeks ago here, their best friend's father's uncle's cousin's roommate's dog will inevitably prove you wrong.  We all know a good program or policy or advocacy group can be a great thing but how does one solve relational problems?  They will emerge again and again because we are not perfect nor will we be made so until our day arrives.

These types of discussions are a bit like talking about politics or religion over the dinner table - the generalised (haha) advice is avoid this at all costs.  But for you more socially adventurous fellas and gals, proceed with caution knowing this is a touchy subject and you may have to discuss the discussion if things get heated; go around the table with apologies and move on to talking about something a little more upbeat and interesting like this blog or what to do about illegal immigration (if the group can't handle race then don't bother with this one!).

Though I have been involved in my fair share of excellent conversations regarding race relations with various persons of various ethnicities.  It's only ever "fun" when a conversation involves folks of different races and we only got anywhere when we talked about our own lives and didn't bother trying to speculate on the opinions and lives of folks not in the room.

People are important.  I am going to smartly enjoy that fact.